As the former Florida governor's campaign struggled to stay above water in the aftermath of less politically experienced candidates, the satirical publication poked fun at everything from the Donald Trump-fueled perception that he is "low energy" to the notion that his presidential run is not long for this world.
"Jeb Bush Assures Pipe-Wielding Thugs He’ll Have The Delegates He Promised Them By Next Week," an Onion headline snarked Thursday, featuring a digitally altered image of Bush raising his hands in front of a hooded man holding a pipe. "Pleading for more time as the group of men advanced on him in a Charleston alleyway, GOP presidential candidate Jeb Bush assured a gang of pipe-wielding thugs Thursday that he would have the delegates he had promised them by next week, sources reported," the article says, in part.
In perhaps its darkest item yet, The Onion on Tuesday published an article titled "Demoralized Jeb Bush Succumbs To New Hampshire Heroin Epidemic" after his poor showing in the Feb. 1 Iowa caucuses. The serious issue of heroin addiction has become a repeated concern on the trail, and particularly in New Hampshire. Despite that fact, the first Google search result for "New Hampshire heroin epidemic" yields the satirical piece.
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