Happy Birthday JEB! Bush, Don’t Set Yourself On Fire With Those Candles

You can keep the costume even after the party is over.

(Wonkette) - John Ellis J.E.B. Jeb Bush was squirted out of his mama’s beautiful mind on this day, but in the last century, some 63 or so years ago, somewhere in the middle of a Texas oil field, probably. While his parents, Bar and Poppy, had hoped he’d be smarter than his drooling idiot big brother Dubya, t’was not to be, obviously, so the Bushes kept on trying to make a baby that didn’t suck. T’was not to be either. J’Ellis B failed upward, like a typical Bush, managing to keep himself out of the champagne unit of the Texas Air National Guard that decisively won the war on Jerry in the Nam, where his brother served except for the time he, uh, didn’t. Read more.