2016 gets even dumber: New York Times wonders whether Jeb’s elitist weight loss will doom him

No more clubhouse doughboy look for me!

(Salon) - Jeb Bush is rapidly losing weight, and the New York Times is on it. The former Florida governor has lost 30 pounds since December on the Paleo diet, the fad du jour where you eat only things cavemen ate, like rocks and dirt and the flesh and brains of your vanquished foes from the nearby heathen tribe. Also: salad.

Bush was never really fat-fat, but he apparently thought he was, and he definitely was by the stringent standards of New York Times reporters. Now, thanks to a diet of relative self-starvation and regular exercise, Jeb Bush has burned back the excess flab to carve out the more respectable figure of a famished ghoul. “Mr. Bush has started buying a new wardrobe to replace oversize shirts,” the Times writes, “and having wide pants that no longer fit his diminished figure taken in.” (Yes, and may we add that he needs to iron out the creases of those new shirts. Jeb!)